One Funeral, One Friend, and Far Too Many Calories

Last week was difficult, no two ways about it. Some of you already know why. For those that don’t: my father died ten days ago, and last Wednesday was the day of his funeral. I’ve realised as I’m writing that I don’t want to go through the ins and outs of the week. I’m just setting the scene for why I spent most of Friday crying, which is not like me at all. Hubby, on the other hand, cries at cute animals, sad bits in films, and if he can’t get the lid off the peanut butter. See, that’s a lot more like me, making up a witty one-liner so I don’t depress the hell out of everyone. 😉

Anyway…my best friend was driving down from Aberdeenshire while I was having this crisis, with the main aim of cheering me up, and not allowing me to brood all weekend while hubby was at work. A bit like cleaning your house before the cleaner comes, I decided as her arrival got closer that I didn’t want to be a blubbering mess when she turned up. So, I put on loud music, jumped in the shower, and successfully revitalised myself. I put aside all the tasks of dealing with my father’s estate, which was what had started my bad day in the first place, and did girlie things like lighting scented candles and putting out nice towels. By the time my bestest bud arrived, I was a lot more together, although this didn’t stop her from giving me a) a hug and b) a lecture about trying to do too much, too soon. She is an awesome friend.

Friday evening saw us eat a pizza, drink a bottle and a half of wine, eat a whole box of Thornton’s chocs and watch an action movie to keep sad thoughts at bay. Now before you say it, I don’t advocate drinking as a way of coping with problems. If I’d been on my own and/or in the same state of mind as earlier, I wouldn’t have touched the wine. But in the company of my mad friend and long-suffering hubby, who was faced with two giggling girls by the time he came in from work, it was fine. Apart from having to take two painkillers for a headache in the early hours of next morning (though I blame that on too much sugar). 😉

On Saturday we had a shopping trip to Glasgow. On the purchases front, this went pretty well; I came back with a new hat, some perfume, and a pressie for hubby. However, it wore my poor friend out, as she damaged her Achilles tendon a few months ago and is still suffering from that. Walking on flat ground was fine, but you don’t realise how many steps Glasgow has until you have a friend who can’t go up and down them! The poor girl had to put her foot up on a cushion when we got back, and I ended up doing her a favour by going upstairs for her whenever she wanted something from her room. (She lives in a bungalow, so this hadn’t been an issue until she came to visit me). Never mind – we took her mind off it with fish and chips, more wine, more chocs, and another movie. She set off back home on Sunday morning leaving me in a much better frame of mind.

Now I need to try and get back to normal – whatever that means. It’s daunting. I have to deal with my father’s estate. My creative writing course starts in two weeks. I have to earn a living. But I do have a supportive hubby and friends, which many people don’t have. I have an outlet in my writing to share my feelings and maybe even turn them into something creative. I have cats to cuddle. And if I make it through the next four weeks, I have two gigs and a mini break in Blackpool to look forward to. Roll on the 21st of October…

Karen (A bit sad, but still slightly bad and definitely mad…) xx

the image represents dad's flowers, and me and best friend's wedding bouquets, although our roses were cream

the image represents dad’s flowers, and me and best friend’s wedding bouquets, although our roses were cream

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26 thoughts on “One Funeral, One Friend, and Far Too Many Calories

  1. Really love the way you write, but I guess you know that by now 😉

    Today’s story of course reminded me a lot of the sad time 2 years ago when my mother passed away, my last remaining parent as my father already died in 2000. Going through her estate felt like going through a whole lifetime. My mother had been a keeper, so the attic revealed long forgotten memories of my childhood. Odd as it may sound, but my sister and I often had a good laugh while emptying the house, finding old toys and looking for the umpteenth time at the photographs neatly pasted into albums by my mother. Despite our grief we felt grateful for a sheltered and carefree childhood…

    You are lucky to have such a good friend who always seems to know when she’s needed. And Gordon, of course 🙂

  2. So sorry for your loss. It’s good that you have family and friends you can count on. ‘Back to normal’ certainly isn’t easy. Moral support and your schedule will help you a lot. 🙂

    • Thanks, I find when I’m writing, just as in real life, I can only wallow in misery for so long. I’m just not built that way! And yes, we ate a whole box of Thornton’s chocs between us, EACH NIGHT. Oops! 🙂

  3. Karen, you know already that I’m terribly sorry for your loss. It’s a really difficult thing, losing a parent, and it’s a tough time for you. So you’re definitely in my thoughts and prayers. As for coping… grief is a weird thing, and you’ll just have to go with the flow. Do exactly what you’re doing, laugh when you can (because that’s what he’d have wanted) and be gentle with yourself on the tough, raw days. Gradually, you’ll find an equilibrium, and it will get easier. In the meantime, you’ve got your friends and your hubby and us bloggers to look after you. Big hugs, and loving you to bits. Write on, my friend, write on. XXX

    • Thanks, Nicky. As my bossy best friend said, I think I was trying to hard to get all the practicalities sorted straight away. I’ve now decided to limit what I do each day with regards to dad’s estate etc, so I don’t get too stressed.
      Have a rockin’ week! xx

  4. Oh Karen, I am so sorry to hear about your fathers passing. I’m so glad you have such a loving husband and wonderful bff to help you get through this tough time. FInd strength in what you love to do.
    The days will get easier just cry, scream or laugh whenever you feel.

  5. Hey Karen. I’m so sorry. I just read the post now. You know I get a little behind sometimes. I’m always here for you girl, you know that. All you need to do is reach out. Looks to me like you’re handling yourself well considering. If you need to have yourself a marshmallow moment, or two or five, then have them. Love you chickie! Xoxoxo

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